Colin's Blog: A Scout Rambling in 2005

A Scout Rambling (2006) (2005)
(2005)

(Colin`s Blog)

Tue 20^th Dec:

Explorer Snowflake Ball Mon 19th December:

Snowflake Ball

A tremendous evening of fun, with the Explorers surpassing themselves and the Leaders expectations. Dinner Jackets (DJs) full Penguin suits and bow-ties in abundance with the fellahs, and gorgeous ball gowns, cocktail dresses on extremely pretty ladies.

The whole evening went without a hitch, the Chilli was kool, (hot actually!) the pizza sliced and the snacks scrummy. No one misbehaved or got into trouble, and a great time was had by all. Mark gave a quick thank-you speech on behalf of the Leader team for all the great Scouting we have enjoyed in 2005, and Dan gave a vote of thanks with three cheers from the Explorers.

Many thanks from Colin & Mark to the valiant few (Dan, Elizabeth, Albert, Dobbo and others) who stayed over Friday through Tuesday to erect and guard the tents, and then finally take them all down again on Tuesday. Many thanks!

Colin`s 50^th Birthday Thrash Sat 17^th Dec:

Colins 50th Birthday Mug Colins 50th Birthday Presents Colins 50th Birthday Friends

Many thanks to everyone who came along to my Birthday thrash. I don’t think anyone was disappointed, including me.

The beers were fine, the food was excellent, the disco brilliant, and the Explorers outstanding. I shall never forget the Explorer rendition of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody complete with Karaoke, dance routine and full actions from the roofs of our two storage Pods.

Special thanks to Carolyn, Claire and Helen for all their work on the catering, and of course huge thanks as always to Mr Ever-Ready Albert who helped stage manage the whole event for me. I won’t mention all the things that Dan got up to, because he asked me not to mention it here.

You will have to ask him yourself, but I believe there are also photos and video evidence available if he tries to deny any of it!

Mon 5^th Dec:

Open Air Skating at Windsor last week

We managed to book the 1^st Woodley Minibus, leave Paddicks at 7pm, arrive at Windsor 5 minutes before Ice Time, collect all the pre-ordered tickets, have a great evening skating and get home on time without apparently anything going wrong! It was so `on message and to plan` that the leaders wondered what could possibly have happened! Still mustn`t knock it!

It was a great evening out, everyone had great fun on the ice and in the Minibus!

Mon 28^th Nov:

Stonker!

You missed it? You missed out! It was a hoot!

Minibus trip down, loads of activities (ski-ing, roller-blading, swimming, bowling, slot machines, live bands and cabaret) lots to do and see, plenty to eat, nice warm cabins to hang about it.

As the MasterCard folk might summarise the week-end:

A Stonking week-end of fun, good food, loads-a-laughs and great activities for a whole week-end: ₤32

State of the art, recently installed Dry Ski & Snow Boarding slope with jumps: ₤500,000

Team of 5 `Security guards` with CCTV and own car, religiously guarding holiday site and ski slope: ₤500 per night

Sledging down dry ski slope at 2am and successfully evading all attempts by security to catch you: Priceless!

Sun 20^th Nov:

Calais (Bruges) Day Trip

Starting at 5am, Colin prowled the big white Minibus around the dark streets of Woodley, Winnersh and Twyford picking up shivering Explorers snatched from their warm beds only by the prospect of a fun day out. And so it was. For 12 hours we roamed the UK, French and Belgium countryside, cities and shopping arcades like a band of iPod wearing Viking marauders leaving a trail of, well, memories, with anyone who came across us.

Best moments: The Dobby emergency call of nature in a traffic jam on the M25 with Rapid Exit to clear the Bus, and Stu`s `tobacco problem` (and he doesn`t even smoke!), and Dobby (again!) and his `Burger-King moment` boarding the shuttle.

Lots of `low tax` goodies were purchased, the leaders had a lovely meal in Bruges, the Explorers a good mooch.

We must do it again, because for ₤12 it was good value for money, and of course, most important, it was Great Fun!

Sunday 16^th Oct:

On Ronnie Barker

`It`s been a funny old day` as Arkwright would say at then end of Open All Hours.

Talking of Ronnnie`s literary work, I`ll miss him; not so much for his famous sketches, which I loved, but for the loss of one of my few heroes, peer figures and mentors, with that grip on the English language, like Alan Bennett, which is so rarely achieved. Be it straight writing, spoonerism, obfuscated dialogue, he had an understanding and ability to use our language that few ever achieve.

He will be sadly missed and leaves a level of use of the English language vacant, that I hope future writers will manage to fill.

But I digress, and like another of my heroes Billy Connolly, you will need to try hard to keep up with my rambling thread if you are following this blog!

On trusting machines

So as I started `It`s been a funny old day`! I had the transport for the RNID sponsored walk day out all sorted, spare neckers & woggles and with Jacqui coming along too, giving us spaces for 9 kids. OK, so `kids` isn`t PC, but `Young Adults` or `Explorers` takes so long to type, and anyway the `Explorers` don`t mind the term `kids` so `scuse me if I stick with the term `kids` for short!

Dan phoned to say he will get a lift with his dad and meet us there `cos he has had a `late party`.

So there we were, with plenty of time allowed, starting from Paddicks at 10am-ish, I had plenty of fuel, trailer hitched everyone had a proper seat, so away we went, Jacqui `in tow` in her rather old but trusty jallopy. Stu setup my Sat Nav with `Hampton Court, London` so what could possibly go wrong! LOL! We initially ignored the Nav and headed on Jacqui`s (and my) preferred direction of A329M => M3 to avoid M25 and M4. After passing under the M25 we switched to following the Sat Nav.

As we approached a queue of traffic crossing Kew Bridge, I just knew we were way off track! We research the setting in the Sat Nav and found that Hampton Court, London N1 is a small posh mews with probably a couple of Rollers and a few Jags, but definitely no Royal Palaces! Stu resets the Sat Nav to Hampton Court, Kingston Upon Thames, and we are cooking on gas!

20 mins later, and still on time as agreed for a 12 o-clock start, we arrived. As an IBM Software engineer I really should know better by now than to trust a computer! To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer! It did what I said, but not what I meant, and how often have I heard and said THAT as a support engineer!

Then Dan phones and tells us they got the Sat Nav destination wrong too! But he had still beaten us to the main gate and was waiting there. So we divert slightly to pick him up and then head into Bushy Park to meet RNID by the Diana Fountain (that is the Roman God, not the deceased one, the security guard tells us as we U turn outside one of HM`s Royal Palaces!).

On close encounters of the Blue kind

After a brief feeding frenzy at the burger bar in the Bushy Park car park, we meet up with the RNID team, get our goody bags, T shirts, day-glo tabards, maps and marshalling positions. I agree to drop them all off around the edges of the walking course, giving me time to check the circuit and make certain that we have everyone in the correct place.

Being a Park, I decide, with hind-sight rather unwisely, to allow them to `trailer surf` so at a stately 10 - 15 miles an hour, and staying off the actual roads we sedately process around the park, through the zones that say `no unauthorized vehicles`, admiring the reindeer and scenery and drop off the Explorers one by one.

With only a couple left to drop we encounter Mr Plod in the statutory minimalist Park`s plod-mobile, out in the middle of nowhere doing their rounds. `Hello hello hello` etc. `And do we have written authorisation to be `off the roads`. Nope, maybe the RNID do, but I sure didn`t. I said I would drop the remaining Scouts who were back there, (indicating the trailer) just here; and turn back to the official roadway.

So I duly swung around and then met Mr Plod coming back the other way. Unbeknown to me, when Mr Plod loomed up, all the Scouts had ducked down and hidden on the floor of the trailer, out of sight, and the Plods only noticed them as they drove away when they kids all leaped out.

So now I get the full wrath of the law about breaking 2 laws. Driving on a private road without authorization, and driving on a public road with Scouts in the trailer. Usual stuff about dangers of injury to unrestrained Scouts (interesting concept!), me being in charge of them (how little they know!), parents trust in me etc etc. I did explain I was only doing 10 mph and that I thought I was on private grounds anyway.

The younger said he was going to charge me. The older dragged him away for a private chat.

On their return I got a stern warning and was released without charge. Probably best I didn`t mention that only 10 minutes earlier they would have also found two Scout cyclists also hitching a ride off either mudguard, that the Scouts in the trailer were probably safer than a Brazilian with a back-pack on a tube train, or that Park Police were regarded by the rest of the Force in the same light as welsh sheep farmers!

I haven`t bothered to check the actual legal position, but, I suspect there may have been a very slight conflict between one offense of driving on a private road with one offense of driving on a public highway at the same time on the same charge sheet.

So the remaining Scout and I scuttled back to the end point with tail between legs trying to observer all of HM`s rules, (Park & Public) even any less obvious ones!

I really think what Scouts do on bikes at places like the Lookout at 45mph and 20 foot off the ground are significantly more risky than being in the trailer at 10mph, but one has to respect the Law of the Land, I suppose, especially as a revered pillock of the community.

On being proud

By 5pm the walkers were all back from the RNID Sponsored Walk and we started to pack for home, I was quite elated at the praise heaped on the Explores (OK, Kids!) by the RNID staff. `Polite, really organised, thinking for themselves, extremely helpful`. Just that sort of comment, made occasionally, really makes it all worthwhile. We found the correct way home this time, and duly delivered them back to the loving care of their `rents. Dan said he would see if his Dad could check the trailer over (MOT) and maybe sort out the damper on the tow hitch. Stephen kindly volunteered to help me park trailer back in Paddicks compound in the pouring rain, before being dropped home. The kids were apparently un-traumatised by their close encounter with death in the trailer. Maybe they will all need counseling now, who knows. It`s been a funny old day.

Enjoy your Youth, your Family and your Scouting (and avoid Sat Nav logic and Park police when towing trailers full of Scouts!)

Saturday 15^th Oct:

A Blogging we will go

Well, here we go, continuing the brief trial Blog from where I left off in August. Scout Rambling! So what else would you call it? I missed off the A at the beginning to make it sound more mysterious, I guess!

Between August and October I was pretty much maxd out on getting the Web content up and running, and putting it into a format whereby I could publish stuff really quickly and efficiently, to save my time, to be honest! July thru October is also the peak of our Fundraising Campaign, so that work pretty much swallowed up the rest of my spare time, and some! But didnt we do well! Brilliant team effort to raise 8 THOUSAND pounds in the year! Nice one Explorers!

So here we are, maybe now the campaign is pretty much over I will have a bit more time to write some of my rambling and inconsequential thoughts and observations; and maybe amuse anyone who cares to read my driveling text. OK, so I did ramble a bit in News, but I wanted to keep that pretty tight so had to bite my tongue and stick to facts mainly, with the odd anecdote thrown in, to keep it light.

Scout is about right. I dont like Scouter. As Mark our esteemed leader often says, we are all Scouts. Heck, we grown up Scouts wouldnt do it if we didnt love our Scouting as much as the younger Scouts, maybe more, in fact! Many years back H accused me of being a Peter Pan, and never growing up. I think it was intended as a rebuke or insult at the time, but rather like the famous adage that Homer Simpson is a cartoon character not a role model I rather liked the idea of being Peter Pan and quite enjoy the epithet, much to Hs annoyance, I suspect! And I think I can still carry off wearing shorts, I recon my legs & knees are OK for public display! Must admit the locals at the IOP take the mick any time I wander in with them on display, but I recon its only jealousy!

On the Web site

Well I think Fet and Prawn did a darn good job on the Web site. Prawn seems to have wandered off it recently, maybe other types of software on his mind (;-), but Fet is still working the controls and tweaking the buttons and every week new wizzy bits turn up. Love it!

Content wise I am quite pleased with it, but always open to feedback, just press the Contact button and Ill get the message if you cant be bothered to use email.

On Paddicks & Pods & Marquees

I was so grateful to the usual offenders (Dan, Dan, Stuart, Richard, Andrew, Nick, Chris, Fet, James and a others, you know how useless I am with names!) for working their socks off on 2 seperate occasions with me, to sort out the Paddicks Compound and finally strip & tidy the Pods, once and for all. I think we are all starting to feel really at home, now, in Paddicks after the move from Chazs jumble sale emporium over in Vauxhall drive 3 months ago. Reminds me I did promise I would gather I the keys for him, must remind the rest of the team! In the new Pod I notice the TV and stereo quickly appeared in the now almost empty Pod, and we could almost hold a meeting in there, well, maybe not with 41 Scouts and 12 Leaders on the books and all turning up at the same time! Ho hum!

As predicted by yours truly, as we stripped out the new Pod of junk we found our Union Jack flag that went mysteriously missing a couple of weeks back. We also found a mouse, and I found it quite amusing watching them trying to catch it before it sensibly escaped down an air duct! Actually I hedged my bets and also suggested we may have left the UJ out by mistake in the dark at the end of an evening and it got nicked by the Chavs who are known to wander in to Paddicks from time to time.

Next project for me is that I want to finish off the Pioneering Pole rack/store so we can get all the poles under cover but available to view. Once folk can see them, hopefully they will start to use them for what they were intended for. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am great lover of building things with ropes, poles and any materials that I can borrow from anywhere on any Scout site I find myself on. Bit like The Borrowers really, when we go to Camp!

I know Mark is trying to finish off the racking in the old Pod for the marquees & tents. Especially now that we have s 2^nd 30x15 marquee. That went up the week we took delivery and the customer was most pleased, and paid 400 pounds for all 3 tents, all joined up with guttering between. Good team work that week-end too, they had the 3 beasties up in 2 and down in 1 hour. Good work!

I gather from Stu that Mark and he are building and putting up the beginnings of the Assault Course this week for a big Cub camp. Excellent news, I know a lot of Explorers will enjoy that as well. Paddicks also have long term plans for Archery and Air Rifles at the other end. I Hope that all works out as well one day.

On Activites and Camps

RNID Ramble this week-end. Guess who ends up running that one as well? LOL! Its my own fault, I keep adding things to the Diary Program and then end up running them as well. I really should have got wise to this by now! And I have 2 half term camps coming up, hopefully Mark and others will share those around a bit.

Chatted to some folk this week and I maybe able to get a real Amourer (ex Army) to bring down some serious fire-arms to show (not shoot!) and give a talk to the Explorers about weapons, safety, the army and their dangers. Stu`s Dad is Army, must see if he can possibly do something along those lines. Tim also wants to use his V/ACC money to train as an Armourer (or Fire arms instructor in Scout terms!).

I know we do want to arrange an air rifle evening once we have found an approved instructor, and longer term take the troops to Bisley and let them fire real guns (at circular targets, obviously, See Scout Policy on that stuff!) Me, I would LOVE to try Skeet or Clay Pigeon shooting one day. Must be fun! I gather the 1930 Olympics was the last time they actually used LIVE pigeons in a shooting competition! LOL! That would make the knitted spaghetti brigade see a red mist if we did that today!

Must start gathering ideas soon for the Spring program, and that reminds me, I must book the remaining Camps with what I call the NANny site. All Scout camps have to be officially registered using the Nights Away Notification (NAN) form. Fortunately Berkshire Scouts have automated it as a neat web page, and it even remembers all my stuff, so it only takes a few moments, and then it emails the DC, Geoff and who-ever else wants to know. I must get my name added to that list for Loddon Explorers for my info if another leader registers a camp. Well Someone has to write and publish the Permission to camp form, guess who (again!), and I had better register Iceland too, that is probably supposed to be several months ahead being International

On John Peel Day

Well I really enjoyed his Sat morning slot, and that lovely laid back, sofa creaking, easy listening, laconic style. He used to say he couldnt believe his luck at being PAID to do what he enjoys the most, listening to bands and talking his head off. I feel like that about Scouting and my work (well mostly!) and having H to keep order, so I must be lucky. John was another Peter Pan figure, which is probably why I empathized with him, along with several million other aging hippy era kids! Hope the tributes dont get mawkish, he would have been very acerbic and cutting if he thought that was happening. Laugh at the memory of a great man, gone but definitely not forgotten John.

Well thats probably too long for most people to want to read of my incoherent ramblings, so Ill sign off until the next time.

Special Prize: Congratulations on navigating this far onto a new and relatively un-publicised page of our web site. The first couple of parents and the first couple of Scouts to send me an email, txt msg or a simple feedback response from the WebSite will have five pounds credited to their V/ACC.

Watch out for other snap competitions which will always be based on when we add changes, new features or new pages to the website. Keep browsing!

Stonor: Monday 29^th Aug:

After an evening meal of good steak stew with potatoes and carrots, followed by cheese and chocs, most of our campers hit the sack early after another busy day.

Next morning, after the standard (substantial!) Explorer Scout camp breakfast of bacon, egg, sausage and beans the Early Team duly sorted out the Exhibitors car park

Colin arrived back at Stonor with Martin (+ bike) to add to the numbers.

The teams had things all under control in the Car Park dept, so after dropping off Martin, Colin headed for the camp area to do a quick sort-out ready for departure that night. For some strange reason all the parents had failed to turn up at camp after breakfast to magically wash up and clear everything away for their off-spring as they always did at home! No change there then. Colin duly washed and sorted all the dishes and pans, then prepped the camp ready for a quick pull-down as soon as Parking is completed.

Parking that day went like oiled clock-work, except for the usual few minor stressy moments when the UK motorists ability to exceed our expectations of stupidity was well and truly met! Mark and Colin and other volunteers totally impressed the arriving motorists with an exceptional display of aerobics in doing an impersonation of a demented windmill to attempt to split the traffic between the upper and lower car parks.

After Marks lecture the previous evening about the need to drink enough water in hot weather to need to take a comfort break(!) every 2 to 3 hours, water was duly delivered to the troops and leaders in the field, and food, fruit and spare bottles of water made available at the central trailer. (Note to self: Pagoda/Sun tent needed next year)

The major excitement of the day was Colin, on his break, finding the Bar closed and the bar staff panicking because they had lost the key! Colin dashed off to ask Mark to help break into the Bar (caravan) to allow the only Pub on site to open, as it did, late at 1.45, but MUCH appreciated by the customers! With Steve (the show organizer) on electric drill and Mark (on the stilsons) the bar was soon opened! A non opening bar must be considered a major crisis, and the Scouts met the challenge head-on! Colin & Mark were duly rewarded with a free beer by the bar manager despite us breaking into his bar. Possibly a unique first!

The exit maneuver was carefully planned with Explorers nipping back in shifts to pack their tents and reclaim kit. By 17:30 we had the camp down and packed and by 18:00 were on the move back to Paddicks. A quick re-pack into the Pods and by 19:00 everyone was heading home, tired, exhausted but having had a successful and very profitable week-end. (2000 pounds for 4 days work, hard work, but the best deal we see in any one year!)

Stonor: Sunday 28^th Aug:

Colin`s day started at 3am collecting Elaine and Frazer from Gatwick (another fund-raiser!). Then to Paddicks to recover more cookware and T towels for the evenings stew-fest. When he arrived on site with Dean and Lizzy for breakfast things were moving swiftly along, if with a few half closed eyes!

It was a scorching hot day. Early risers again sorted the Exhibitors Car Park (bonus points for these volunteers!) and the teams laid out the fields ready to do battle with the brainless motoring hoards of Oxford and Berkshire. It was another very busy day with near record attendance again.

Sunday Monday are the peak days at Stonor. At no time did we have a blockage feeding from the Main Road so we won, so to speak! The Organisers (our Customer) once again very impressed with our planning and execution of the parking. Many congrats to Mark and Mark for the tactical planning and of course to every member of the team for these very long hot days running about across fields chasing errant motorists! Stephens brother, Mum and Dad all turned up to help out, so bonus points will go to Stephen and Richard who is planning on joining us next term.

Big excitement of the day was a poor baby who got scalded by hot coffee. The Paramedic arrived extremely quickly and then we were asked to form a circle in the show ground the allow the Berkshire Air Ambulance to land. Sadly the pilot took one look and said No way, Jose! or the official lingua-fraca for the same thing, and flew away. While we were playing ring-a-ring of roses in the Arena the Berkshire main ambulance arrived and found its own way to the patient. Oops! Mark and the Organiser re-planned our emergency tactics and lines of communication should there be a next time!

Colin scooted off and brought back more bread, pop, beans and stuff from a local garage, taking a few easy riders for a spin, as well as Scott and his his bike into Henley for a secret assignation. A txt msg arrived from Jason announcing he was arriving to help on the last night. Colin got a bit sun burned in the face, but his wife said it just made him look healthy. At least he didnt end up with Panda Eyes from dark glasses (unlike Claire!). Final day Monday to come.

Stonor: Saturday 27th Aug:

Overnight the watching of two DVD movies on Marks in-car entertainment system resulted in his battery being flat by the morning, so Colin had to provide a jump start to get the days proceedings underway. A volunteer team headed out at 8am to sort of the one car park we did not have responsibility for, the traders area. This was efficiently done and looks so much better than the previous days random parking, and again ICFH were most pleased with this extra duty.

The teams now suitable trained up and practiced after Fridays warm up, handled the expected increased car numbers with apparent ease. With separate teams working the upper (A) and lower (B) car parks it was easy to control the flow and avoid the regular bottlenecks on the entrance road of stalled cars, pleas to use the disabled car park because I have children, a heart by-pass, gammy legs and so on.

The use of the hand held radios for communication proved both a blessing and at times a nuisance! With 12 folk all on one band, the chatter got a bit intense and it was not easy to work out which team was asking for what! It was quickly decided that the lower car park would take band 6 and the upper band 7 with leaders monitoring both bands and using separate professional radios for controlling all the teams and communicating between leaders. It became noticeably quieter when Dans radio was taken away, although foolishly Colin then gave him a whistle, which was also soon confiscated! Traffic fell away significantly after 3pm and the team could relax at the trailer and experiment with leg waxing using duct tape, and binding each other up.

Supper was Chicken in creamy mushroom sauce with rice. Sleep soon beckoned again and most retired early after another good days work. Lizzie headed home for the night to enjoy the luxury of a hot shower and a good nights sleep. Colin collected her early on Sunday morning, as well as Dean who had just arrived back from doing his Explorer Belt in Slovenia. Watch this space for the next news update!

Stonor: Friday 26^th Aug:

First night at camp and then a days car parking very successfully completed, everyone a bit tired and all slightly sun-tanned after a hot and breezy day.

Good job we purchased loads of bottled water, fresh fruit, Sun Lotion and Bug Spray that morning!

Dan demonstrated maniacal mountain boarding plus a unique style of down-hill kamikaze biking. Tim slept (most) of the first night in a tree (dont ask!).

Parking stayed under control; the team quickly learning the skills needed to deal with large numbers of apparently mindless drivers trying to park!

Only 20 mins light rain late afternoon, ground remains good (which is a relief with steep hill-side parking needed in this narrow valley setting!)

ICHF (the customer) very happy with our work today, and actually want us to take on the very disorderly parking in the Traders Car Park from tomorrow as well!

Supper tonight is a very large and delicious smelling spaghetti Bolognese, (cooked by Mark & Mark)

It will probably be early to bed, those yawns were catching on fast as I left them at 6pm.

Yours in Scouting,

Colin's Sig